There have been several times in my life where I’ve recognised I’m feeling real burn out.It’s a term that I feel seems to get tossed around a lot without the understanding behind it. As if burn out is ‘just another mental health excuse or a cop out’. That the stigma attached to mental health makes you feel like it’s all in your head.

Yes, things are improving in that aspect. Mental health is taken much more seriously nowadays, and it is widely taught in schools from as early as primary school. I know this because I teach it as part of the PHSE curriculum as early as year seven (11 year olds). As such, young people are much more aware of the signs, and I raise any safeguarding concerns, as little as they may be, immediately.

However, for me as a millennial, it took me well into my late twenties to recognise true burn out. There just wasn’t anywhere or anyone I could ask or check in with about how I was feeling. I couldn’t even explain it myself at the time. It certainly wasn’t taught in schools in the 90s and early 2000s.

I spent a lot of time thinking and reflecting about the feeling and what might be causing it. It took many, many years to recognise the feeling I was feeling at the time was real and actual ‘burn out’.

I couldn’t tie the feeling to my first diagnosis of Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), either. It felt different to anxiety, panic, or even at my worst – disassociation (I talk about this in the radio interview I did if you want to have a listen/read the transcript).

The only way I can describe it is a feeling in my belly that almost ached. Like a physical pain. There were no other symptoms immediately obvious (for me, anyway), just a rising uneasy feeling in the belly. The frequency of this feeling and subsequent burn out has increased since teaching; no surprises there! Anyway.

Before we get started, please know that I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose or give medical advice. This is purely from my own experience that may help you. Definitely speak to your doctor if you’re struggling and need more expert advice.

However, well done for making it this far – you’ve already made the first step ❤️

So, here is how I recognise if I’m starting to get burned out:

• Usually, I’ve overworked myself at work initially and actively recognise it
• Or, I may have overcommitted myself through meeting friends, sorting appointments, making phone calls, sorting emails, applying for jobs, etc. outside of work
• The next almost immediate thing I recognise is loss of interest in hobbies. I do tend to struggle with concentrating and feel restless a lot of the time, but burn out usually results in an almost immediate halt on cooking (which I really enjoy), reading, watching a film, etc.
• I might be sleeping excessively, or struggle to get to sleep. There’s no in between
• Possibly eating too much or having a lack of appetite
• For me, I might shut myself away from people and struggle to reply to simple WhatsApp messages (there were times during university where I’d go a month or more avoiding everyone), despite friends trying to reach out to me. This, of course, made it harder to reply the longer it went on!
• Severe Sunday night dread and impending doom (worse than normal) about a new working week and Monday
• Finally, and a more recent discovery – I’d tend to get ill more often. This might include infections or catching continuous colds easily or more than normal. I know now that that is because my immune system was lowered due to high stress at the time.

The diagram below shows the stages we go through in terms of workload, pressure and performance. This diagram isn’t confined to your pressures at work (although the article linked focuses mainly on job workload). It can be applied to every aspect of your life:

In addition, according to Delphis Learning:

When pressure is very high and sustained, we might enter the dangerous, burnout zone. In crisis, we experience exhaustion from chronic stress. Our body perpetually draws on its survival mechanisms as it believes it is in physical danger and the ‘fight or flight’ response takes over. Adrenaline and cortisol are now running the show and we have little chance of focussing on complex mental tasks or making good decisions. (Stress and the Pressure Performance Curve (Delphis Learning, 2020).

Their article goes on to explain that short term effects range from minor stomach issues, to heart disease and immunosuppression.

So, as you can see, recognising when you’re starting to burn out is really important.

Things to bear in mind, though:

• Recognising the signs isn’t a quick process; you may not even know it until you’re actually burned out and it’s too late to remedy. You may not catch it early enough the first few times, but you’ll start to pick them up on any future burn out periods.
• It gets easier to recognise over time, so don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t catch it in time this time.
• Most of us usually feel bad when taking time off work if you’re ill. I know I do, terribly! But, if you’re genuinely burned out, trying to ‘power through’ or ignore it will probably do more harm than good. Take the time off you need so that you can return to work in a better shape and ultimately more productive.
• If you think it’s needed, get in touch with your doctor. Don’t wait or think you’re causing a fuss out of nothing, you’re not. Do it now. No doubt your doctor’s surgery have heard similar stories hundreds of times over. Words of advice from my doctor I’ve never forgotten was along the lines of, ‘If it worried you enough to contact the doctor then it deserves to be looked at/investigated’.

Finally, what can you do to support yourself through burn out?

Here are some of my short term top tips:

1. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and the burn out feeling is intense, the first thing you should do is start deep breathing. I’ll write a more in depth post in the future but here are some links to try:

NHS – Breathing exercises for stress

British Heart Foundation – 3 breathing exercises to relieve stress

NHS Inform – Breathing and relaxation exercises

Anxiety UK – Breathing for anxiety

YouTube video – The Priory:  Breathing Exercises for Anxiety | Calm Your Body and Mind

There are also lots of videos on YouTube for this very thing. Definitely well worth a browse if you need!

2. The next thing to do is use grounding techniques (I’ll write a more in depth post about this in future. However, simple grounding techniques include the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 sensory activity.

You need to spend time on each step, and really focus on each action. Don’t rush it. This exercise can be done inside or outside, sitting or standing. It might be difficult initially to keep your mind on this task, but it gets easier the more you practise:

Find 5 things you can see (e.g., a pen on a desk, the clouds)

Find 4 things you can feel (e.g., the texture of your trousers, the chair under you)

Find 3 things you can hear (e.g., a car passing by, the hum of an air conditioner)

Find 2 things you can smell (e.g., coffee, fresh air)

Find 1 thing you can taste

Another technique I learned about some years ago is imagining your body as a strong tree. Treecreate has an excellent article (2021) if you want more details. This one can also be done both inside or outside, sitting or standing. Again, it might be hard to not let your mind wander, but practise makes it easier over time.

Here is the crux of the technique:

First, imagine your feet entwined with the earth as roots, and your body rising as a trunk.

Close your eyes and imagine strong, thick roots growing from the soles of your feet, pushing your feet onto whatever ground your stood or sat on right now. Think about the cool, dark, and supportive layers of the earth under your feet.

Lengthen your spine and imagine your torso is a strong, immovable tree trunk. Feel your chest and shoulders broaden, establishing a posture that is completely solid, stable, and strong.

Spend as long as you need to help feel some short term relief.

This technique calms the nervous system by anchoring you in the present, releasing anxious thoughts into the soil, and absorbing the earth’s stability.

3. Physical activity (no matter how much you don’t want to in that moment) can help. You could try a brisk walk, jumping jacks and even just shaking your limbs one by one. If you can ask friends or family to join in, this’ll help, too.

4. If you have access to a garden and grass, take your shoes off and step barefoot on the grass. If you can, lay down on it. If you don’t feel up to that, even just sitting on your doorstep can help.

Focus your thoughts on the sky, the clouds, the sounds you can hear, the smells you notice, and how to grass feels on your body. It might feel weird at first, but centring your thoughts and feelings on nature can be quite freeing and calming. Do this as long as possible.

There are numerous studies that document how the greens and blues from plants, nature and the sky have positive impacts on our brains (National Library of Medicine, 2017).

Those ideas are short term quick activities to try if you feel burn out is on the horizon.

For more medium and longer-term ideas, here are my suggestions that I find work for me (not 100% of the time though). As always, do go to the doctor/call 101/call 999 depending how severe the burn out is.

Burn out is very real and both mentally and physically challenging. But, it’s not something you should ignore, and by you being here is one major step in the right direction. Well done for that!

• Try to find the root cause of your burn out. Although this might be easier said than done, my usual cause is work. Think about:

Is your workload too high?

Are deadlines affecting you?

Is there possible bullying/toxic workplace issues?

Is there lack of recognition or feeling undervalued?

Addressing these workplace issues maybe help to alleviate burn out before it gets too much. Unfortunately, though, that’s something only you can work through. If you feel nervous about addressing any issues, remember you can ask HR or a colleague for support.

Outside of work, are there any personal issues you’re struggling with?

Have you taken on too much personally?

Do you need to drop some commitments temporarily?

Could you ask for help from friends or family?

• Next, speak to someone, even if it’s The Samaritans. Sometimes getting the feelings out can be really beneficial. If you don’t have anyone you can talk to right now, you can ring/chat via some of these links:

Samaritans.org 24/7, 365 days a year

CALM chat/phone line – helpline and livechat are open from 5pm to midnight every day. 365 days a year

Hub of Hope – NHS directory of mental health charities

https://hubofhope.co.uk/

In conclusion

Experiencinf burn out is very real, and differs from one person to another. Mental health conversations are certainly improving, but there’s still such a long way to go to de-stigmatise the topic.

Recognising burn out will get easier over time, and I hope these tips help you if you unfortunately ever experience it.

As always, feel free to leave a comment on your thoughts and experiences!

Jess xoxo