As I sit here with fatty Gizmo on my lap and watching a film, I wanted to share the radio interview I did back when Modern Day Girl Blog was going.

Major caveat: I inwardly cringe to the point of my body turning inside out when I mention the life coach certification. I paid for a course that I thought was legitimate, but (at that time anyway), it turns out it was a complete Wild West with no regulation 😔🤦

So, please close your ears at that point, the rest is semi-okay!

I talk about first being diagnosed with anxiety, being signed off work for the first time, anxiety medication, writing as therapy, trying the natural route, and more.

Hope you enjoy!

Jess xoxo

Transcript

Now then, until you experience anxiety firsthand, I I suppose it’s fairly easy to dismiss it. It’s one of those things that you you can’t see from the outside, but when it hits you, it can really leave you feeling a million miles from your normal self. And someone once described the feeling as looking at life through a carrier bag. Nothing’s clear and it leaves you feeling fearful and helpless as well. It’s also well worth pointing out. It’s extremely common. You may well have experienced this at some point in your lifetime as well.

Here’s someone that has and does. Jessica Bignell is from New Basford. She set up a blog to help others cope with anxiety because often the case with this condition, talking about it really can help. So Jessica’s here, as I say, welcome.

Thank you for having me.

When did your anxiety start?

It was about four years ago now, actually. Um it just got to a point one day when I was on my way to work. Um I’d had a panic attack the night before and I just didn’t feel like I was quite right.

Right.

I just ended up bursting into tears at work and having to leave to go to my doctors and that was the turning point.

So, it’s probably worth pointing out. I hope you don’t mind me saying your Well, you probably shouldn’t mind me saying your age cuz you’re only what 29.

Yeah.

So, mid 20s when it really kicked in. Can you think of other examples from when you were at school? Things like that.

Yeah. So, for me that was the moment when I got diagnosed officially. Um, but I know that I’ve had anxiety for many years um when I was at university. I’d just spend hours looking at my laptop um knowing that I had to write something down and just not being able to do it. And I just sit there for hours and I just couldn’t explain why I was doing that. But I didn’t think to go to the doctor then. I just kind of put up with it, I suppose.

And can you can you describe how it actually feels? Cuz some people listening to this might think, well, yes, you know, we we’ve all been anxious at various points, but this is something else for you, isn’t it?

Yeah. So, I think some people find that they’re not they feel kind of detached from their body. Um, it’s very physical.

A lot of people think that it’s just in the head, like you’re just making it up.

Um, it’s not real. Um, but tenseness, aches and pains in the shoulders, the chest. Some people think that they’re having a heart attack when it’s panic.

It’s uh quite terrifying. Shaky hands, which is what I suffer with a lot. I’m very shaky and I’m quite conscious of that too.

Right.

Um and you you mentioned this panic attack you’d had one night before work when it really all you know came to the for describe how it feels when you’re having a panic attack. What happened?

Um well I’d had them before so I knew what was happening but the first time when I did have a panic attack and I didn’t know what it was um my heart was racing. It felt like it was coming out of my chest. Um, I was sweating. My mind was racing about all sorts of things. What’s happening? Why why am I doing this? What? I need to stop being so silly. Um, and it just it feels like you feel like you’re going to die. It sounds dramatic, but it’s pretty terrifying.

I can imagine how the more you are trying to get yourself to stop Yeah. become a bit of a vicious circle.

Yeah. So, my best tip for people with panic attacks is just to let it happen because the more you resist it, the worse you it makes you feel. Um, and most of the time it just only lasts for about 10 minutes. And my doctor did tell me that there are no physical side effects from having a panic attack. So, as much as you feel like you’re not feeling great, nothing will happen from that, it’s that’s something worth bearing in mind.

And can you put your finger on what the panic attack was linked to?

No. No.

That must be frustrating as well.

It is. Yeah. So, most of the time I can’t explain it. Sometimes I’m worrying about things at work or um if I need to go somewhere and I don’t want to go there because social anxiety is another part that I do suffer with being around large groups of people. So I tend to worry about that and if I ignore that I do panic attacks do follow but I can’t always put a finger on it.

It must be difficult as well when because a simplistic view of this might be well can you avoid certain things and certain situations. I I’d imagine some you can but some are going to come out of the blue.

Yeah. So I think a good thing to remember if you do suffer with panic attacks is just know what causes them or what may have caused them in the past. Although I know you can’t always predict it. It’s good to recognize the signs early. So if you start to feel like you are panicking, get yourself off to a quiet place or speak to someone, get them to talk to you and distract yourself from it. That’s always good to do

Because it is about managing it, isn’t it? It’s not it’s not about finding some kind of cure, they’re going to go…

Oh, I wish I could cure my anxiety. I really do. But it is all about management like you said. And the reason why I started the blog was because I felt quite alone at the time. I didn’t feel like I could talk to anybody. Um, and I think if you do talk to more people about it, it becomes not as scary, not as taboo.

And that’s the reason why my blog’s there really.

Yeah. What did the GP say that time when you when you went a few years ago?

Oh, really common actually. The the doctors that I go to is a specialist mental health doctor um surgery as well. So, they see it all the time, but to me it was completely um odd and weird. But they said that um I was putting a lot of stress on myself. Um a lot of change had happened during that period and I just wasn’t coping with it very well and this is how it came out.

Right. But it was useful. You you got some benefit from from it

Absolutely. Yeah. They recommended that I will sign off work for 2 weeks, but they said to eat healthy, get some exercise, as much as I didn’t want to leave the house, that I should try and carry on with my daily life. Try meditation, things like that. Um unfortunately, that didn’t work for me. So eventually I was put on medication, which I’m still on now.

Right.

But it’s always good to try the natural route first.

Sure. And how would you describe you now versus how you were at that point? four or five years ago.

Complete different person. Yeah. I um I used to be always out um very social person. The change in me was crazy really cuz I was always a party girl I suppose and I became a hermit pretty shortly after the um saw the incident at work.

Now though I’m not as much I’m I’m not a hermit anymore. I’m much more confident. The whole experience, even though it was very negative on the outside, for me it’s been completely positive. Yeah, I’m a better person for it.

And is that part of the thinking with the blog as well?

Yes, of course you’re helping other people, but you are putting I was going to say on paper, you know what I mean? Online about your own feeling that must help you.

Yeah, writing is really therapeutic. So, I always recommend to anybody who does suffer with anxiety. If they can’t talk to anybody, just get it out on paper, whether that’s an email to me or just a notepad because if you can’t talk to someone, a piece of paper doesn’t judge you. And if you’re worried about judgment, you’re not going to get that from that. So, it’s very therapeutic, I think.

How do you see things panning out in future? What what do you want to be doing?

Well, actually I’m just going through um a certification for life coaching with a focus on people with anxiety.

All right. So, this this potentially going to become a career.

I’d love I’d love that. I’m so passionate. Um and that’s my goal. So, it’s um it’s just starting out at the moment. I’m just getting things together. Yeah. But yeah, I just want to help people.

Well, good for you and and I wish you luck with that and and and thank you for coming on because you know we’re talking about anxiety and here you are talking on the radio and you wouldn’t you wouldn’t think to you you are anxious about that. Well, it takes guts to do it and thank you for doing it Jessica.

Modernday girl is the blog. You have a little look online because uh particularly if you’ve got someone in your family, it could be yourself uh suffering with this kind of issue. Uh you could find yourself some help on there. Thanks to Jessica.